Kings have no friends.


Posts tagged with "A Song of Ice and Fire"

A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones inspired Football Uniforms

Someone make this reality.

May 4

A comparative look at dragons in fiction.

It’s one thing to Imagine Balerion. It’s another to see it put into numbers.


All Father George has had The Winds of Winter written for two years now. When the show is just about to pass it, he’ll swoop in on dragonback with a sack of the completed novel, and everyone that ever made a joke about how slow he wrote it will be told, personally, by him, that they can never have a copy.

House Blackfyre of King(s) Leaving

Apr 8

Which Corps of the Emotional Spectrum do ASoIaF characters belong to?

An ongoing flame war I’m having with myself.

Lion in the Web?

“Lord Tywin feels forty-four hundred guardsmen more than sufficient to find one lost squire, but your cousin Tyrek remains missing.”
Tyrek was the son of his late Uncle Tygett, a boy of thirteen. He had vanished in the riot, not long after wedding the Lady Ermesande, a suckling babe who happened to be the last surviving heir of House Hayford. And likely the first bride in the history of the Seven Kingdoms to be widowed before she was weaned.
“I couldn’t find him either,” confessed Tyrion.
“He’s feeding worms,” said Bronn with his usual tact. “Ironhand looked for him, and the eunuch rattled a nice fat purse. They had no more luck than we did. Give it up, ser.”
Ser Addam gazed at the sellsword with distaste. “Lord Tywin is stubborn where his blood is concerned. He will have the lad, alive or dead, and I mean to oblige him.”
Tyrek Lannister had vanished during the riots in King’s Landing whilst Jaime himself was still captive at Riverrun. The boy would be fourteen by now, assuming he was still alive.
“I led a search myself, at Lord Tywin’s command,” offered Addam Marbrand as he boned his fish, “but I found no more than Bywater had before me. The boy was last seen ahorse, when the press of the mob broke the line of gold cloaks. Afterward … well, his palfrey was found, but not the rider. Most like they pulled him down and slew him. But if that’s so, where is his body? The mob let the other corpses lie, why not his?”
“He would be of more value alive,” suggested Strongboar. “Any Lannister would bring a hefty ransom.”
“No doubt,” Marbrand agreed, “yet no ransom demand was ever made. The boy is simply gone.”
“The boy is dead.” […] “If they realized whom they’d killed, no doubt they threw him in the river for fear of my father’s wrath. They know the taste of that in King’s Landing. Lord Tywin always paid his debts.”
“Always,” Strongboar agreed, and that was the end of that. Yet afterward, alone in the tower room he had been offered for the night, Jaime found himself wondering. Tyrek had served King Robert as a squire, side by side with Lancel. Knowledge could be more valuable than gold, more deadly than a dagger. It was Varys he thought of then, smiling and smelling of lavender. The eunuch had agents and informers all over the city. It would have been a simple matter for him to arrange to have Tyrek snatched during the confusion … provided he knew beforehand that the mob was like to riot. And Varys knew all, or so he would have us believe. Yet he gave Cersei no warning of that riot. Nor did he ride down to the ships to see Myrcella off.

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So sayeth All-Father George.

This next book is going to be rough.

So sayeth All-Father George.

This next book is going to be rough.

Aug 8

The Maester Did It pt. III

Part 1 is here. Part II is here.

As Maester Medrick went to one knee to whisper in Bolton’s ear, Lady Dustin’s mouth twisted in distaste. “If I were queen, the first thing I would do would be to kill all those grey rats. They scurry everywhere, living on the leavings of the lords, chittering to one another, whispering in the ears of their masters. But who are the masters and who are the servants, truly? Every great lord has his maester, every lesser lord aspires to one. If you do not have a maester, it is taken to mean that you are of little consequence. The grey rats read and write our letters, even for such lords as cannot read themselves, and who can say for a certainty that they are not twisting the words for their own ends? What good are they, I ask you?”
“They heal,” said Theon. It seemed to be expected of him.
“They heal, yes. I never said they were not subtle. They tend to us when we are sick and injured, or distraught over the illness of a parent or a child. Whenever we are weakest and most vulnerable, there they are. Sometimes they heal us, and we are duly grateful. When they fail, they console us in our grief, and we are grateful for that as well. Out of gratitude we give them a place beneath our roof and make them privy to all our shames and secrets, a part of every council. And before too long, the ruler has become the ruled…”
Before he forged his chain, Maester Walys had been known as Walys Flowers. Flowers, Hill, Rivers, Snow … we give such names to baseborn children to mark them for what they are, but they are always quick to shed them. Walys Flowers had a Hightower girl for a mother … and an archmaester of the Citadel for a father, it was rumored. The grey rats are not as chaste as they would have us believe. Oldtown maesters are the worst of all. Once he forged his chain, his secret father and his friends wasted no time dispatching him to Winterfell to fill Lord Rickard’s ears with poisoned words as sweet as honey…
“The day I learned that Brandon was to marry Catelyn Tully, though … there was nothing sweet about that pain. He never wanted her, I promise you that. He told me so, on our last night together … but Rickard Stark had great ambitions too. Southron ambitions that would not be served by having his heir marry the daughter of one of his own vassals…

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Aug 5

The Maester Did It pt. II

Looking for Part 1? It’s on YouTube!

Marywn smiled a ghastly smile, the juice of the sourleaf running red between his teeth. “Who do you think killed all the dragons the last time around? Gallant dragonslayers armed with swords?” He spat. “The world the Citadel is building has no place in it for sorcery or prophecy or glass candles, much less for dragons. Ask yourself why Aemon Targaryen was allowed to waste his life upon the Wall, when by rights he should have been raised to archmaester. His blood was why. He could not be trusted. No more than I can.” (A Feast for Crows)

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There was a sign on Monday Night RAW that simply read ‘Stannis 3:16’.

It was shocking enough to see an A Song of Ice and Fire reference, let alone the CORRECT reference.

Jul 1

I need this series to end with Stannis as the 1000th Lord Commander like a sane person needs oxygen.

The Perfect Soldier

Like my ramble on Viserys, this one requires a trigger warning. Frank discussion of abuse, brutality, and Randyll Tarly follow under the cut.

(The views of Randyll Tarly are not those of the author)

Randyll Tarly left the hall with his liege lord, their green-cloaked spearmen right behind them. Tarly is the real danger, Ser Kevan reflected as he watched their departure. A narrow man, but iron-willed and shrewd, and as good a soldier as the Reach could boast.

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May 9

Like the Stories

The king was a great disappointment to Jon. His father had talked of him often: the peerless Robert Baratheon, demon of the Trident, the fiercest warrior in the realm, a giant among princes. Jon saw only a fat man, red-faced under his beard, sweating through his silks. He walked like a man half in his cups(…)

Ser Jaime Lannister was twin to Queen Cersei; tall and golden, with flashing green eyes and a smile that cut like a knife(…) Jon found it hard to look away from him. This is what a king should look like.

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No True Knight(s)

'What do you think a knight is for girl? You think it’s all taking favors from ladies and looking fine in gold plate? Knights are for killing.’ (A Clash of Kings)

‘So many vows, they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the law. It’s too much. No matter what you do, you’re forsaking one vow or another.’ (A Clash of Kings)

'Brother, have you taken leave of your senses? This man attacked my son.'
‘This man protected the weak, as every true knight must.’
(The Hedge Knight

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The Red Viper

‘An old septon once claimed I was living proof of the goodness of the gods. […] If the gods were cruel, they would have made me my mother’s firstborn, and Doran her third.’

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